Adventures of a Booty Cake

Booty Cake by Wicked Goodies

Booty cake with camouflage boy shorts made of modeling chocolate 

So a client called me from Texas last week to ask if perchance I make novelty cakes and would I be willing to make a booty for her 24-year-old son, who is stationed at the naval base in San Diego, California. Most people don’t have a broad lexicon for under-the-pants stuff, at least not when talking to a complete stranger, so usually I am obliged to interpret euphemisms and fill in the blanks where their sentences trail off until we come to a polite agreement over the size and skin tone of…you know. But this woman’s vocabulary was so advanced and kinky that I could hardly keep up.

“So do ya vejazzle?” She asked me.

I had no idea what she was talking about. Quick fingers on the keyboard revealed that this term, recently coined by Jennifer Love Hewitt, means “to accessorize the pooch with jewels.” Really considering the notion of bedazzling my own vajayjay led me to wonder out loud how a vegazzler avoids the obvious pitfall of losing a jewel, like, up there, and if this were to tragically happen, what kind of damage control would then ensue.

“Hon!” she interrupted. “I meant have ya ever bedazzled a vajayjay cake.”

The answer was no, because as it turns out, I’m a plain vajayjane (update: my fornicake portfolio has expanded since I wrote this post! You can view my naught cake gallery here.)

The customer ordered a Kim Kardashian booty cake with camouflage boy shorts. “Show some crack,” she said, “and make a slag tag. And when you deliver it, say, ‘Happy B-day Drew! Here’s what yo mama’s booty looked like before she had you.'”


How to Form Butt Cheeks for a Booty CakeHow to Make a Booty Cake

To form a booty cake, begin with two 8-inch (20 cm) half-sphere cakes baked in 8-inch (20 cm) bowl molds. Slice approximately 15 percent off one side of each half-sphere, then sandwich them together at the seam. Reincorporate the trimmed cake parts over the seam on one side to form a small lower back. Coat the booty with flesh-colored buttercream. Follow this link to read how to bake and frost rounded cake shapes.

Booty Cake by Wicked Goodies

Renee from Main Made Cakes, pinching my booty cake!

Instructions on how to make camo boy shorts out of modeling chocolate for a booty cake are in my book:
Cake Decorating with Modeling Chocolate

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